One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice lady of some sort of christian denomination handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.
- me: It seems that I am not immediately excellent at this
- me: it is because I am a failure
- me: everything I touch dies
men moaning is basically the hottest thing a guy can do besides give you neck kisses
i just said hi to someone and they didn’t hear me i’m never trying that again